


cat's cradle

by SecretReyloTrash (BadOldWest)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blackmail, Crack, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk more like Absurdy Talk, Dubious Consent, F/M, Hate Sex, Hux has a cat kink, I am tagging all of this to be super careful, If I tried to come at this with a screwball tone are you guys going to kill me, Imagine if sex w Space Mr. Collins was fun, Loss of Virginity, Millicent the cat - Freeform, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Coercion, Soft Hux Roasting, but to be safe, it's more enemies to lovers fail at blackmailing, situationally we are tagging for trigger warnings, this is much sillier than it has any right to be but situationally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 21:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadOldWest/pseuds/SecretReyloTrash
Summary: Rose is undercover infiltrating the First Order. Nothing can compromise this mission. Not even an admittedly very cute cat name Millicent.Hux is the owner of a very cute cat named Millicent. He is also blackmailing Rose. But their personalities keep getting in the way.[mind the tags mind the tags mind the tags]





	cat's cradle

**Author's Note:**

> mind the tags minds the tags mind the tags
> 
> Ironically, this is based on a very stupid tweet I made about Hux and Rose unexpectedly bonding over a cat before realizing who was actually right in front of them, and because of that I would not classify this as a darkfic, but Rose is undercover, Hux figures it out, and he points out that the benefits of sleeping with him might include preventing her from being compromised. He's really in it for protection for the Resistance and the sex is something that she initiates; we're tagging it like a worst case scenario, if I was not thorough enough, I would thank you to let me know immediately. Let's call this an incredibly coercive screwball comedy.
> 
> Also: Hux has a massive cat kink.

Rose never would have guessed she’d have anything in common with that vile snake, General Hux.

The only thing she shared was a swift bite into his gloved finger; and she only took that much of him inside her mouth because the reaction made the act well worth it.

However, in her stolen First Order uniform, she found herself sharing a lot of things with the General. Her cover’s lunch block was at the time he would indulge in a routine rotation of the dining facility, asking overbearing personal questions (even light things like “How are you, subordinate?” felt like a labor to have to answer because he was so quick to anger) and making sure everyone was efficient, put-together, and not violating any uniform codes.

Her hair was a problem he joked about once, though she could hardly tell he was joking, warned her of when he saw it unkempt once more, and then personally had her dragged to the dormitories to have straightened out and clipped back behind her ears the third time, when the curls wouldn’t take the irons.

But by choice; she avoided the man like the plague.

Life undercover on base was a misery, but she was needed. The First Order had not thought to gather much detectable evidence of her presence before her attempted execution and someone like Finn or Poe was too conspicuous in the Resistance to blend in.

And she already, conveniently, had the uniform. All it needed was a few stitches and the swipe of an iron over the teal material.

She could tell her avoidance of General Hux’s eyes drove him close to madness; though it wasn’t explicitly stated she had to stare back at him as intensely as he did her, and he couldn’t technically punish her for glancing her gaze down the side of his nose or hovering it just slightly above his eyebrows. The man lived for rules, and she had found her loophole, and it would drive him thoroughly insane and unfortunately, for him to force more attention onto all of her actions.

 _I didn’t mean to catch his eye,_ she whispered on her comm to Finn, reporting back to the Resistance after her first week. _But he’s got one out for me._

_You sure he doesn’t remember the bite you gave him?_

Finn sincerely pondered how even a chance meeting with Hux had left her unharmed; as her purpose there was to avoid the General at all costs, but the first few days had proven that the plans of this mission needed more ironing out and it would call for a lot of improvising.

Hux was infamously bad with faces of those he found inferior. So it was easier to blend in and act like they had never met, even when she could tell he sensed a hint of recognition from her.

Every encounter with that man lingered, made her feel vile, so she tried to press it out of her mind by focusing on her work. The greater picture of it and the minutiae of reports as fake but dedicated colonel.

To no avail. He encroached on every moment of idle thought, making her muscles seize up in annoyance, making a trademark irritated sigh part of her reputation between First Order Soldiers. She laughed at their jokes, ate the same lunch with them, and slept in her bunk amongst the lot of them; but she’d never call them her friends.

It was weeks without a friendly face, or even the time to do anything but report essential information back to Finn.

She despised many, avoided as much as possible, and trusted no one.

But there was always a type of face she would drop her defenses for.

The lothcat on the sleek black floor was such a welcome sight she was gasping and on her knees to pet it in an instant. She’d always had a soft spot for cats; and this one was the fluffiest and fattest creature she’d ever seen. Orange fur spiked out of its body making it impossible to determine the true size of the beast without digging her fingers into its coat.

She did, gladly, and felt her heart burst that the sound of a purr.

“Beautiful,” she praised, the animal sweetly nuzzling her hand, with a more delicate, compact face than that of the tooka cat.

“She doesn’t take to _just anyone.”_

She saw a pair of boots at the edge of her vision, but in her mission to take down the First Order, she was in no hurry to meet a new face. He bent down to reach for the cat as well.

“What’s her name?”

The cat was a safe enough topic. The cat existed apolitically.

 _“Millicent,”_ the voice was tinged with pride, and a gloved hand joined hers on the cat’s elegantly raised head. There wasn’t enough cat there to prevent their hands from touching, “she will be the death of me. You should be flattered; she is very choosy about people.”

“Huh,” Rose replied, not impressed with the warmth in the tone of the person speaking. This was a ship full of monsters, even Millicent was no exception. Just very cute.

The cat was found in a hallway, lazing around base like she owned it. Rose did not need her approval. Millicent was hardly a princess…

“Oh, and, uh, _at ease, soldier.”_

At this, her eyes shot up.

His smile was present, though horrifying, but as Millicent batted her head to Rose’s hand for more pats, her eyes met General Hux’s in the midst of the accidentally tender moment.

He was making a joke with her. Teasing her.

Then his eyes changed.

From this angle, it was much easier for him to see her the exact way she was kneeling when she once sank her teeth into his finger.

Then they both sneered.

_“You!”_

In unison.

Though Rose was not in a position to leverage her disgust with him.

Brought down by a cat. She wasn’t entirely shocked by this way to go.

She was more affronted that Hux would do the honors of making sure this mission failed.

His hand closed tight around her elbow and dragged her off her feet. But he didn’t yell for guards. He clicked his tongue to Millicent, who trotted behind like he was summoning her for her dinner.

She worried, vaguely, if he was going to feed her to Millicent when the troopers were done with her.

But her curiosity was sated only when she was sealed behind the nearest door mere yards away from the cat; private apartments.

Millicent hopped up on a nearby chair as he locked the doors behind him. Rose swallowed, waiting for him to call a torturer, an executioner. Strap her to one of those chairs...

But Hux, for someone who screamed so much in the brief time she knew him, was quiet.

“Maybe I defected,” she blurted out. “Maybe I was undercover when we met, and-”

“Or maybe you’re rebel scum,” he mused, adjust his gloves on his hands.

And then, like it mattered:

“But Millicent certainly liked you.”

He sounded as though he was considering killing her or... _not_ with the casual air that one debated the way they were dressing for a potential rain.

“Are all your decisions made by a cat?”

“I trust Millicent implicitly,” he hissed, showing anger for the first time in private, “as there are so few you can trust on this base. You should be the first to know.”

“Don’t compare me to you.”

“Can’t a fellow cat-lover call a truce, momentarily?”

He chucked her under the chin, the bastard, and she clenched her jaw shut. It was that or bite.

“We can be of use to each other,” he added coyly, seating himself on the edge of his bed. Millicent leapt into his lap. He patted her orange head.

He would get a cat _to match._

She stood still, she realized too late at fully military attention, until her fists clenched at her sides.

“I have no use for a snake like you.”

He shrugged.

“Or I could just report you for treason.”

She would not show him fear.

Hux sighed.

“The Supreme Leader...it would seem is not as level-headed as our previous master. I would like...to make careful arrangements for my future.”

Oh. This was about protecting _himself._ Rose bit back a smirk, staring at the floor.

“You think we’re going to win?”

She was practically blushing with pride. It was the sincerest compliment to the Resistance that he pulled her into his bedroom to talk making a deal at the second he had an advantage.

She looked not at him, but Millicent, who blinked sleepily.

“Cutting a deal with you seems dangerous.”

And _traitorous._

He crossed the room too quickly, Millicent leaping to a plush velvet bed clearly intended for her to get out of his way.

His full height drew up before her, fingers pressing to her lips as her head tilted back.

She bit this time, hard, and he didn’t yelp and pull his fingers away. Defiant, she dug harder, twisting her head to gain a better grip with her back teeth. But his gloved fingers curled against her tongue, filling her mouth, even plumbing deeper to test the soft response of her gag reflex-

She choked him out of her teeth, pulling away, and he considered her carefully even as she coughed and sputtered.

“So would you...like to bargain with me…”

“I...are you pretending to defect to seduce me or are you blackmailing me to do it?”

“It can be both,” he raised his eyebrows more at himself, swatting her hat off her head and attaching his fingers to the pins behind her ears. She held her breath when he slid them out of her hair; her curls springing back to frame her face.

He let out a sigh; like the very thing he had ordered her to do as her General was bothering him. As though it had greatly pained him because he liked her hair better this way.

“What is going on?” She finally blurted out, dumbfounded, as his gloved hands held her face steady.

“Are we going to fuck,” he raised his eyebrows, “or do I push you out that door to fend for yourself?”

 _Leaving_ was an option?

"What?"

"Millicent doesn't like many people," he sniffed again, looking away from her eyes, "she chose you for a reason, and it makes me a bit...protective. Now. Even though I should throw you in a prison cell for the rest of your life, I will allow you persuade your Resistance leaders for a secure holding...just in case...for my future."

“So you’re not even going to do anything... _right now.”_

Hux shrugged. “You’re lonely enough that you might have made your choice for me. And I’d never break something that can be used as a tool. You’re not powerful enough to be called a weapon yet.”

“You’re just...letting me go back to my mission.”

He shrugged again. “For the time being.”

Why was he being so _flippant_ about this?

She stood on her toes to glare up at him.

“Then why even seduce me in the first place?”

"Did I seduce you?"

_"No!"_

“Well then. You liked my cat,” he replied, as though it was obvious. “Now leave, or take off my belt.”

The silver Officer’s belt buckle glinted at her mockingly.

“And I’m not giving you a single thing to bite this time.”

She did something stupid; she kissed him. Hard. Challenging. Her fingers shakily tugging off her gloves to grip the buckle of his belt.

And she bit his lip.

Hard.

He hissed into her mouth, caught like a fish on a hook by her teeth, but he hands squeezed her hips greedily.

“Is that a fact?” she tried her hand at bravery in a bedroom; something she’d never claimed to have before. Brave, but not very smart. Focusing on playing to disadvantages, she unbuckled his belt.  

He growled with approval when she did as he told. She felt herself falling for a second. Onto the bed.

He pressed her greedily into the mattress, unfastening the jacket she had to take such meticulous care of.

With shaking hands, she helped him shuck it off her, but when it fluttered to the floor, she winced.

Demerit.

“Leave it,” he ordered, untucking her shirt from the trousers.

Another demerit.

“It’ll get wrinkled,” she whined, but Hux was biting-

_-no, kissing-_

-her neck.

And then he laughed. “There’ll be no more demerits after you fuck me.”

“You really know how to treat a girl.”

“We can provide...perks, to each other, no?”

She bit her tongue as she let him open her shirt excitedly.

“No demerits, fucking you; do I also get a cat?”

He went still on top of her. She flinched, assuming she made him mad.

He was breathing heavily enough to be.

But she might have...pleased him.

“Oh yes,” he touched her face much more gingerly now, “A nice black cat, a male, one Millicent will select as her mate. A kitten for my kitten.”

“Is _Millicent_ the kitten, or me?”

She yelped when he did not answer her, kissing her with a passion she did not assume one with his milky complexion could possess.

“My kitten,” he kept mumbling against her lips, so she was beginning to assume this was her. “Mine, my kitten.”

She was so dumbfounded she didn’t realize her bare skin was touching his sheets until her body writhed against them when he opened her legs to lie between. Oh. Her boots were off, he ha slid them down her calves. This was happening. It was like a speeder without a driver with the engine spiraling it out into space.

His tone was ponderous as he kissed her, his clenched teeth as much a part of the kiss as Rose assumed she was going to always get.

“Assuming I do my _worst_ to your pussy-”

Rose sat up. He had not undressed, and she felt like a pretty wanton _kept woman_ spread across his bed with her shirt off. She covered her chest protectively.

“My _what?”_

“It’s a…” he looked at her stupidly, “have you never heard _Basic slang_ for your vagina?”

Her head scrambled to keep up, her curls that were newly freed tickling the sides of her face. It felt weird, just that loose hair. Lighter.

She took his expectant stare as a time to do a mental inventory. There was a blaster on the chair, but her eyes glanced off it like she wasn’t even trying to get out of this. He was breathing like a sweating bantha, and yet she felt irritated, but calm. In control. Was that because she kissed him?

Being half-naked was...not awful. Kind of liberating, when she didn’t have to give a shit about the person she was with.

She wet her lips to explain:

“Pussy is...it’s like a weak willed person. When it’s not a cat. It’s a wimpy, pathetic person.”

The definition seemed to trigger something in him, his eyes practically watering with rage.

“I will not be called that again-”

_“-I never did-”_

She sat up again, panicked, but he held her down.

“It also, depending on the territory, can mean a woman’s sex,” hair flopped, completely violating uniform, into his eyes. He slid his hand down to cup between her legs, gloves still on, over her trousers, “And here, it will mean yours. Have I made myself clear?”

He squeezed before she had the chance to respond. Frustrated, she bit her lip, not giving him the satisfaction.

At least not until he gave a gentle-handed _pet_ along her core.

“Am I clear?” he repeated, his tone not softened, but quieted.

Talking had ruined the small bit of excitement she had managed to work up.

She flopped down onto the mattress. “Perfectly. I still think it's stupid.”

“Have you no grasp of Basic-”

“We come from completely different star systems,” she snapped at him, “we must, at least.”

He stared quizzically at her. “Where are you from?”

“I don’t want to talk about that with you.”

“That is an order.”

She grit her teeth. He knew she wasn’t even First Order, that didn’t have any hold-

“Hays Minor.”

The meaning was not lost on him. Hays Minor is gone. Gone like Hosnian Prime. Gone like Alderaan. He had to know.

That or maybe because her tone had as much bite as her teeth.

“Arkanis,” he volleyed back, and she rolled her eyes.

“Different worlds, I know, _I should feel lucky to be graced-”_

“My mother was a kitchen maid, and I, her bastard.”

He shoved her down into the mattress. This was a lot of roughhousing and no sex. She had expected both; but one balancing the other in how little she wanted to be here and how badly he wanted a...pussy. She should be trying to leave. Why was she not trying to leave? The door was right there, he gave her time generously think over his stupid and treacherous offer, and she kissed him instead.

“So will you now soften to me, kitten?”

She squirmed under him as he unlaced her breastband. “Are you serious?”

He looked offended again, falling back to crouch on his heels. This still bent him intimidatingly over her and her now-naked chest.

Rose kept her face firm.

“I told you something...private.”

“You tell me what planet you come from and I’m supposed to just swoon?”

“I told you perhaps the most _secret detail_ regarding my birth. And maybe I am lonely, and I liked that you are too.”

He looked away, annoyed with himself, muttering.

She rested her head on his pillow, sighing. “I suppose I told you something personal too.”

Because her planet was gone.

He began to remove his gloves. Bare hands touched her face, guiding her into a kiss. It wasn’t affectionate, but it was at least skilled. Dry at first, nipping, then rough, then wet almost as a way to soothe a bite he afflicted on the area of her lower lip.

He did not bite her once at the ferocity that she bit him, which was interesting.

“Do you...think me handsome?” he coaxed, and she knew this was her cue to be seductive, to get herself out of this, and yet…

“You should grow a beard.”

“They are not...regulation…” he stammered out, annoyed, yanking her trousers down her legs.

 _“I’d_ like it,” she shrugged. “Resistance soldiers can have beards. They’re rugged.”

“Yes, I’m sure some Resistance Gunner makes your pussy ache for the touch of his facial hair,” Hux’s tone his dry, his hands moving up her bare legs. “Do you like when he touches you? What will you tell him when you’ve had me instead? I’ve half a mind to grant you transport to whatever hovel is your base, as long as my cum is dripping out of you and he’s the first person you show.”

She looked up at the ceiling, hurt.

Finn’s gentle rejection, his eyes on another, was still a fresh wound.

And may have entirely motivated her for volunteering to do this mission.

“There hasn’t been anyone else.”

He had got her completely naked now, sitting alongside her, slightly below her lap, and hunching over to observe her nakedness. He was doing it so single-mindedly she hadn’t thought of it as erotic, just simple, just stupid, how he was stunned at the sight of her…

She wasn’t calling it that.

“Why ever not?”

“Because not everyone bases sexual partners...on the will of their cat.”

“Millicent is an excellent judge of character-”

She covered her face with her hands. _“So you keep saying._ Okay.”

Hux pried her hands aside roughly, as though she was being ridiculously childish. ”You are my kitten-”

_“Gross.”_

“And _I_ want you…” he looked severely pained, so much so that she snorted. “I can be tenacious for the things I want, even if those things require to...adjust some rules. Even if they require my being a bit more gentle.”

She shook her head. “This isn’t what this is about.”

He swallowed, loudly, and patted her opposite hip again, his arm a safety bar slung across her hips. Why was lying naked on his bed, only touching like this, an intimacy she wasn’t sure she could afford when fucking him was so casual a decision five minutes ago?

“Ever?” he finally asked.

She swallowed. “Ever. I’ve never…”

“Hmm,” he slid himself onto his belly, back between her thighs. “Then this really is _my_ pussy…”

Her hips jerked when his mouth, hot with want, ghosted over her sex.

“It is _my_ pussy,” she snapped back, then covered her mouth with her hand. It was good it was already there over her mortification, because she needed to scream into it when his tongue parted her folds with a wet, shallow slide.

“All out of protests?”

“I hate that fucking word,” she dug her fingers into his shoulders, writhing as he kept licking her so intently. His hands held her hips down.

“Oh,” he observed mildly, as if watching Millicent play with a ribbon, “my little kitten mewls. She fights me. She begs me to touch her pussy, to show me it’s mine.”

Rose’s thighs opened, her heels digging in to the mattress to try and lift her hips into his greedy mouth. Exercised well from vitriol, screaming, abuse...and yet so gentle here.

The dirty slurping sounds were pronounced to embarrass her, she could tell. It made her ache inside. Fluttering down on nothing.

Was she going to really want sex when this was over? Her...pussy wanted to be filled. Did she want it now? She didn’t resist a single thing he had done so far. And this was.

He tongued her clit, raising his eyes to her with a smug gleam.

“Sweet little pussy,” he purred, and offset the tenderness by holding her thighs violently opening and diving back in until she yelped.

So good.

“When are you cumming, kitten? Soon? Now? I can hear your cries so loudly.”

“Stop...with the kitten...shit,” she tried to close her thighs on his face, but the ensuing struggle just had him secure her hips more firmly and hold them open until she was tremoring inside.

He was kissing her clit. Not licking, not sucking. Kissing.

Like a fucking _reward_ for her.

“It would be so good of you to cum.”

She was not going to be good-

“Little one,” he coaxed in a sing-song, “I know you’re listening.”

Her heels crossed behind his head.

“My name is Rose,” she finally howled, “please just call me Rose.”

It was harder to hear with his face mashed into her sex, instigated by whose needs was unclear, but he managed to turn to the side, rub his cheek along her wetness to speak:

“Rose, then, will you show me how a good kitten cums?”

Before diving back in like he was devouring her.

“Fuck!”

Apparently she was good. He turned to something vicious, primal, licking the wetness that was now seeping out of her.

Limply, she just let it happen. Because it was good. Because she wanted it.

For some reason.

He was crawling up her, his face smeared with her wetness and gleaming triumphantly.

“You fight like a cat taking to a bath.”

“Is that your _only_ frame of reference?”

“Only because I take such good care of your kitty…”

Rose broke. Just not the way she thought she would.

She started laughing at the absurdity of this; of being here with a monster, with her impossible arousal, with her cum all over his face.

That sneer crept across his features again. He had actually looked relaxed a moment ago, and she was conflicted about how he had looked better then.

“What’s so funny?”

“I hate you.”

“Oh. Well, I know that.”

Somehow, automatically, her thumb landed on his curled, sneering nose.

“I will kick you out of bed if you ever give me this look again.”

He wasn’t giving it now, just mortification.

He hovered over her, silent, for a few seconds, and though she was going to continue. But that was really it. She was an affectionate person; and she had no companionship for so long. She knew she wasn’t at risk to ever fall in love with him.

She moved her thumb down his face to her slick, swiped a line of it up, and licked it off.

His nostrils still flared down at her, but it was less a condescension and she could work with that.

“Why not,” she murmured, her taste bitter and sweet on her tongue.

He surged forward to share that taste in her mouth. She helped his jacket off, then thought the better of it. But he was already lifted off of her, pulling his undershirt over his head and lowering down over her before she could figure if it was too absurd to see his bare skin.

So many freckles.

Her hands hovered instead of touching him, only managing contact when his fingers stroked over her sex with one hand, the other lowering his trousers. She had opened that belt. Why? What crisis-induced rebound was this?

But he was holding her thighs open, roughly grinding into her, making her moan, kissing her with an intensity that for the first time in her life she did not just feel a kiss in her lips, but everywhere.

“Soft little pussy,” he murmured soothingly, “I want to hear you purr.”

She was naked with General Hux, who had a whole... _Cat Thing._

She might have been finding that she had one too.

_“Wait.”_

He froze on top of her, confusion bugging out his large features. She swallowed.

“Why are we even having sex? We haven’t agreed on anything?”

“But we’ve got such good momentum going, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“But there’s no...arrangement.”

Her hands plant themselves on his chest, holding him over her, but also, _wow, that skin is soft._

“We’re the arrangement. Doesn’t it feel good?”

He nudged her entrance. So good it terrified her.

“How do I know you’re not going to imprison me afterwards?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, teasing her pussy with the head of his cock. When he pulled back, she whimpered, and that was all he needed for the evil gleam to return. “Isn’t it nice to have friends everywhere? You are safe in my bed, and I’ll be safe in yours.”

“I- _oh,”_ he had started to ease his way in. Her eyes fluttered shut.

“I can have your pussy, and you shall have my cock. Whenever you need. I take good care of my kittens.”

“On m-my terms,” she tried to think of her terms. “My terms, you’re going to be...my lapdog.”

He froze, cock half-buried inside her, looking stunned.

“What?”

“You have to grow a beard,” she snapped, “A Resistance Beard. If you expect to be welcome in my bed. You can’t sneer at me, you lick my...my, my pussy whenever I ask, and there will be no demerits. Ever.”

His hand pinned her by pressing down on his palm at her sternum. Her eyes widened, looking up at him, but his gaze was smug.

“I already promised you no demerits. You undersold yourself.”

And a single thrust brought him to hilt inside her.

His hand slid down her body, down to the curve of her belly, where he might feel himself thrusting in and out against his palm. Her thighs shook, not knowing what to do with herself as he thrust. He seemed to like this, how it made her curl around him, how it made her cuddle into him even as his cock pierced so profoundly into her body. It was hurt that was expressed with whines, not cries, pain that drained from a shallow source until it was gone.

Then it was good.

He held one thigh high and close to his body, his pelvis stimulating her clit with every roll of his hips. He lowered his face to her nipple and sucked gently, playing it between his lips. 

She kept waiting for a bite that never came. That excitement did something wicked whenever his teeth edged her rosy tits. He might have known, from the way her pussy squeezed him when he did.

“Have we got a deal?”

Her eyes clenched shut, because he was stroking her clit again and that was not a fair or gentlemanly time to ask questions.

Right. This was Hux.

“I always wanted a puppy,” she said coldly.

Even though she expected a slap and several demerits, instead his eyes rolled back in his head, his shoulders trembled, and his cum filled her up with heavy thrusts. She stared at his contorting face, nervous and kind of aroused, but mostly confused when he fell heavy over her body, face tucked in her shoulder.

“I had hoped for mutually beneficial orgasm, you minx.”

She was too perplexed to even beginning mocking him for that pun.

 _“Hmm,”_ she rolled her hips, him, soft and too sensitive, still inside her. She couldn't believe her own voice when she finished the thought:

_“Make it up to me.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever written.


End file.
